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I'm not going to write a rebuttal, no need. Just the
fact that "Mr Cool" wont identify himself when he
leaves offensive comments is enough to discredit him.
Since his vocabulary is limited to such derogatory
terms as "gay", he most likely would not grasp the
nature of any rebuttal column anyways. So without
wasting anymore time with our simple minded friend,
lets move on!
I've taken this column from "At Last there is Nothing
Left to Say", Matthew Goods debut book of short
stories. I have arranged this excerpt to column size,
from its previous longer format. If your open to some
violent, depressing, yet strangely insightful
literature, I would recommend his work to you. Heres
some food for thought...
Thanks for Flying with us!
Before takeoff please ensure that your seat belt is
securely fastened and that your seat and table tray
are in the upright and locked positions. None of these
precautions will prevent bodily harm in the event of
an emergency, but may give you a false sense of being
very important things to do. Such importance will
provide you with the appearance that details are
serious enough to comply with as they might actually
have a bearing on whether you live or die in the event
of a crash. Several tons of burning metal aside, your
tray table could always cut you in half if you should
happen to survive plummeting from thirty thousand feet
trapped in a flaming ball of fire. Ensuring that your
seat is fully forward will also allow the person
sitting behind you to perish with sufficient leg room.
For those passengers flying in our business and first
class cabins, you may now commence doing whatever you
like.
In the unlikely event of an emergency, please try to
remain calm. It's unlikely that two to five seconds
will be long enough for you to feel real terror.
During a slow, burning decent we ask that you remain
in your seats. You may consider listening to some
soothing new-age music in such circumstances using
your complimentary headset (channel 4). In the event
of a water landing please remember to follow the
lights on the cabin floor to the nearest exit. If, in
panic you forget that your seat cushion was supposed
to be your flotation device, we recommend using a
number of dead bodies lashed together to provide
buoyancy. If, at any time, the cabin is depressurized
please DO NOT use the oxygen masks provided, as they
are just for show.
We would also like to point out that the business and
first class passengers are worth more, and will be
treated as such in the event of an emergency. This
also goes for their luggage and pets.
We'd like to thank you for flying with us and hope you
have a pleasant flight. The local time is 11:37a.m.
GMT.
Written by Matthew Good
Arranged by Mike Brown
"At Last Their is Nothing Left to Say sure isn't
Disney land, but we'll take you for a ride!"
tasty!
hope you enjoyed
Brown
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